Continuing
by SoEasilyObsessed
Summary: Erica was there when the Dauntless attacked, she saw what happened and left quickly, carrying the burden of the past as she goes to the Candor headquarters, but they're not as welcoming as she had hoped they'd be


The Candor headquarters comes into my view and relief washes over me. I walked a long way to get here and I feel as though my legs will fall off and my head is pounding with a headache. My stomach hurts, I vomited the entire contents of my stomach on my way and I haven't since then. My throat is dry and my eyes are sore, but seeing the compound in front of me, I am filled with a new hope.

I walk into the front doors of the gray, concrete building and close my eyes. Here I am finally safe. Here I am finally away. The Candor will welcome me into their faction and let me stay as long as I want. I hope. Maybe eventually what I've seen, what I've learned, will be erased from my memory and I can learn to be content again. I look out over the lobby; the floors are tiled in an alternating black and white pattern, it hurts my eyes to look at them for too long. The walls are made of concrete and windows are positioned on each wall so as to let in a lot of the sun's light. Today, though, the sun is hidden behind dark storm clouds, awaiting their chance to pour out their contents on the people below them.

I turn towards a long hall, which leads deeper into the compound, so as to find the people here. Suddenly a set of hands grabs me from behind. I struggle to wrench myself free from their grip. I kick out, scream, punch, kick, but soon a second pair of hands punches me in the side of my head, and I fall unconscious to the ground.

I wake up in a small room. It is made entirely out of glass; outside the clear walls I can see hundreds of faces peering at me. They're all wearing black and white, Candor colors. I'm sitting in a small wooden chair and when I try to push myself up further I realize that my wrists are bound to the seat with metal cuffs. I attempt to move my feet and find that they are also attached to the chair. I look across the table I am positioned in front of and realize that there is a man there. He has short, wavy black hair and cold gray eyes. His teeth are bleached white and he can't be older than 25.

The man looks at me and smiles. "Hello, I'm Justus. Don't worry, you are perfectly safe, we just restrained you for our own personal safety. I am going to ask you a few questions and I need you to answer completely honestly. Just so that you are aware, you are under the influence of the truth serum."

I glare at him in response. He smiles and makes a note on a clipboard in front of him.

"What is your name?" He asks

"Erica Harding." I say. Justus has someone confirm my identity by searching for my records on a computer before he moves on.

"So," he says, "Are you in the Dauntless faction?"

"Yes, I am." I reply.

"And are you aware of the Dauntless attack on the Abnegation faction yesterday?" He asks, still smiling eerily at me.

"Yes."I begin to realize that the truth serum has no affect on me.

"Were you involved in those attacks?"

"I was there." I tell him.

"Did you personally attack anyone?"

"No. I didn't"

"But you witnessed other attacks?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any idea what caused the sudden attacks?"

"No, but the people seemed brainwashed, like they didn't have control of what they were doing. Their eyes were never focused and their movements were jerking." I tell the truth, even though I know that I can lie at any time.

"Why were you not affected by this 'brainwashing'?" Justus asks

"Because," I say, taking in a deep shuttering breath, "I'm Divergent."

The pathetic smile on his face momentarily droops before returning quickly to its original state, this time looking more forced. All around the room, people erupt into intense, hushed conversation. Their faces are plastered with surprise, some with fear.

Justus quickly quiets them and then returns to the inquisition. "So what did you do during the attack, considering that you were not under any influence?"

"When they came near me, I joined the crowd and pretended to be them. When we were close to an exit I ran out and came here in hopes of refuge." I tell him.

"What do you mean by when they came near me?"

"I mean, I saw them marching in through the gates and I joined them when they were close to me."

"Are you saying that you were already in the compound when they came?" He asks me.

"Yes, I was."

"Were you there spying for them ahead of time?"

"No, I'm not a spy"

"So why were you there?" He says, a look of obvious confusion on his face.

"I was talking to someone."

"And who would this be?"

I shake my head. I don't want to say his name. I don't want to remember what happened.

Justus looks at me sternly. "We are going to have to throw you in prison if you don't answer."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes before answering. "Rylan Gauge." I whisper his name, letting it seep slowly out through my lips; it leaves behind a bittersweet taste.

Justus signals his hand to someone in the watching crowd. They tap on a small computer in front of them and after a minute look up and say, "Rylan Gauge, 18. Born faction: Erudite. Chosen Faction: Abnegation. No criminal records. No records of anything. He was just a normal child."

"So what were you doing seeing Rylan Gauge at the Abnegation faction, Erica?" Justus asks.

"We met there every Sunday."

"Why?"

"To see each other."

"But why? What was so important about seeing him?"

"I just had to."

"There must be a reason." He says.

A woman stands up in the audience and says, "Miss. Harding, were you seeing Mr. Gauge because you loved him?"

I glare at her, but my gaze softens and I feel tears at the corners of my eyes.

Justus smiles, "There we go, answers. So you loved this boy and you met him every Sunday at the Abnegation compound. I'm guessing you met there because it was easier for you to go there then for him to come to you?"

I nod.

"When did you 'fall in love' with this boy?" He asks me.

"When we both lived in the Erudite compound." I tell him.

"And would you like to explain to us why you fell in love with him?"

I look at him defiantly, "I don't see how this is relevant to the inquisition."

"My dear, everything is relevant. Every little detail is important information." He says, his irritating smile still dancing across his face.

"Fine," I say, "My parents would always fight in Erudite and he was always there to comfort me. He was the only one that truly understand my pain and struggles, his parents were the same way. We were each other's sanctuary, each other's refuge. He was just a friend until one day when he was just… more. We were 14. So we loved each other and were together until choosing day."

"Why did you choose separately then him?"

"It's complicated." I say, moving agitatedly in my seat.

"Please explain" says Justus, as he writes more on his clipboard.

"Well, when I woke up from my faction test, the instructor was looking at me funny. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me I was one of the most severe cases of Divergent she had ever seen. She told me that I was torn between Candor, Dauntless and Amity. I didn't really understand what being Divergent was, so later I asked my mother. She told me that Divergent's were anomalies, that they were terrifying and horrible. So I hid it, from everyone. Even Rylan.

"So at the choosing ceremony, I watched Rylan go up, cut open his palm and spill it over the flat grey stones. Abnegation was going to be his safe-haven, his escape from the pressure of Erudite. Soon after he went, they called my name. I walked up to the glass bowls and examined each one carefully. In Candor, I wouldn't have the problem with trust that my parents took away from me. I would always know the truth, always know what was going on, all of my priorities could be taken care of. In Amity I could escape the family tension and I could finally accomplish the peace and happiness that I had always wanted. Dauntless was where the girl I had always dreamed of being would go. It was a place of hope for me. Erudite wasn't one of my expected results, but I told my parents that that was where I would go, that's where they expected me to go. Then there was Abnegation, where Rylan was, the only person I had ever loved.

"So I was torn, but in the end, I chose Dauntless." I concluded.

"And so you agreed with Rylan to meet him every Sunday at midnight, at his compound?"

"Yes, we had to still see each other. Even if it was only for a few minutes."

"You do realize that doing that is illegal?" Justus asks his smile no longer apparent.

"Yes, we knew. We took the risk."

"But you never got caught?"

"We did," I tell him, "Once, by one of the other Dauntless initiates, Cain. I was ahead of him on the scoreboard during initiation training and I always beat him in fights. He noticed I stole away each Sunday, and one day he followed me and caught us. He threatened to report us. I made a deal with him; I would let him win in training as long as he never reported us. He agreed and there wasn't a further problem."

"So back to the situation that occurred 24 hours ago, you were at Abnegation seeing Rylan can you tell us the rest of the story of that night?"

I choke up and clench my fists. My eyes feel as though they are a dam, holding back a waterfall. I shake my head no. If I don't say what happened, it doesn't have to be real, none of it does. I don't need to accept it.

Justus looks at me frustratedly, "Erica we need to know the details of that night, if you do not tell us now we will be forced to torture you to get the information."

I think I would almost rather have that, but then I think of how disappointed Rylan would've been with me, so I start my story, "We were sitting close to the fence, behind one of the empty houses on the edge of the compound. We heard marching and I turned to see the Dauntless coming in. Rylan told me to join them, I was wearing my Dauntless clothes, I could blend in perfectly. I didn't want to, but he gave me no choice, so I joined there group as inconspicuously as possible and followed them. They all were zombies, shooting at anything clothed in gray. As soon as I found an exit, I left, and walked here."

"Yes, but what happened to Rylan?" He asks. He knows by my reaction that he finally had it, the last piece of the puzzle, his answer.

"He ran ahead of me, to try to get away. But one of the Dauntless caught him, the same one that followed me two years earlier, Cain. Cain wasn't a zombie like the others; he must be a Divergent like me. Cain found me in the crowd; he could tell I was Divergent like him. He winked at me before dragging Rylan to a driveway. Rylan called out to me, looking directly into my eyes, 'I love you Erica!' he shouted. Then Cain raised his gun and shot Rylan in the head." I picture the look of longing in Rylan's eyes as he called to me and I break down. I put my head on the table and sob, and since I am not able to move my hands, I don't wipe away my tears, I let their sorrow cloud my vision and puddle on the table. I admitted it. I am being forced to accept it. Rylan is gone. The only person I have ever loved is dead. I am alone.

The people of Candor must think I'm pathetic, sitting here sobbing over the loss of a person while they all gawk at me.

"One more question," Justus says, interrupting my cries, "What is your biggest regret, Erica?"

I look up and say, "Continuing. I didn't even watch him fall, I just tried to keep my eyes ahead like the others around me, I kept walking and I let him die. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him hit the ground. I should have given myself away, I should have gone to him, let them shoot me as well. At least then I would be with him. He wouldn't be alone, I wouldn't be alone. We'd be able to love each other without hiding it. Maybe that's why I didn't qualify for Abnegation, because I was so selfish that I walked away from my only love as he died. My biggest regret is continuing to walk on."

Justus looked at me with his false smile and said, "Thank you Erica, our guards will take you to your holding cell while we vote on what to do next." The burly security guards that were guarding the glass doors come in and unchain me. I stand up and they lead me down a hallway and into another small glass room. In the center of the room is a small, flimsy cot.

I lie down and cry, releasing my sorrow.


End file.
